And We Have Tears!

She’s finally crying and fussing. As much as I don’t like to see her cry, I’m relieved because it’s normal for a baby to cry, you know? Mostly she’s crying when she’s tired. This afternoon she cries when I lay her down. She’ll only stop when I pick her back up. (James went to the zoo with the group. I wasn’t too crazy about seeing a Chinese zoo, so I stayed behind with Sophie.) It’s good she’s crying to be held, good she’s learning that when she cries she gets stuff.

 

As I write this, she’s in the Ergo. She likes the carrier a lot and sleeps in it often. I have a feeling that at home I might be doing this a lot. At least it makes us both happy. She’s close to me and I have my hands free to write

Sophie in the Ergo.

 

Motherhood… wow. It feels so natural. It feels like she’s been a part of our family forever. It feels right to me and I’ve been amazed at how my mommy instinct just kind of took over.  With other people’s children I’m always a little apprehensive, but Sophie is my child and I feel that to the center of me. I have been apprehensive at all and I already feel a deep I-would-die-for-you sort of love. I’m amazed at the protective daddyness that has come out in James too. Fatherhood agrees with him. J 

I’m leaving room in my mind for the possibility of depression and/or doubts. I know they’re normal to have after a birth or an adoption. It’s okay if I or James feels that sometime soon. With such a huge change in our lives, it’s to be expected. Right we don’t have any of that, though.

Yesterday we went to Old Town. To get there we traveled thirty minutes through Chongqing. James got video of it. When we get back to the states I’ll edit it and post some of it. The size of the city is absolutely mind-boggling and it’s very, very poor. Lots and lots of torn down buildings and rubble. Lots of makeshift shelters on top of the rubble. The area where the hotel is the richest part of the city.

Old Town was a few streets of small shops here you can buy lots of folk art…which we did. We bought some gifts and some things for our house, like our family name in Chinese characters and calligraphy to frame. Stuff like that.

Later today we’re going to a nearby department store to buy Sophie some shoes. We can get very good quality baby shoes for about $12. Hopefully before then Sophie will take a nap!

Mostly we’re just waiting around until Monday, when we head to Guanzhou. Today we get some official paperwork back. On Monday morning it will be finalized and we’ll head out for the last part of this journey. I can’t wait to get home and back to the (new) normal. I can’t wait to get Sophie on a proper schedule too.

Nai Nai (paternal grandmother) and Sophie

And here’s Poe Poe again!

 

Anyone know how to get a baby to stop grinding her teeth! Yikes! She won’t take a pacifier or a teething ring yet (I keep trying!) She won’t put anything in her mouth but her bottle and her thumb.

Here’s the fire map on the back of the hotel room door:

Here’s what it says. It’s a little blurry, but make the effort to read it. It’s hilarious. God, I hope there’s no fire.

 

 

James Blog Tuesday!

MARDI 5H00 DU MAT….

 

OUI, 5H00 DU MAT ! IMPOSSIBLE DE DORMIR. JE ME DEMANDE POURQUOI… PEUT-ETRE C’EST DU AU FAIT QU’A
MIDI, SOPHIE SERA DANS NOS BRAS…. MMMMH, JE
NE SAIS PAS…. MMMH, PEUT-ETRE ! J

 

NOUS SOMMES ARRIVE A
CHONGQING HIER SOIR VERS 21H00. BON VOL (2 HEURES). DOMMAGE QU’IL FAISAIT NUIT, ON A RIEN VU.

EN 15 MINUTES, NOUS ETIONS PASSE LE CENTRE DE SANTE, L’IMMIGRATION ET LES DOUANES. ILS SONT TOUS EN UNIFORME VERT IMPECCABLE ET PERSONNE N’A LE SOURIRE.

 

DEUX DAMES CHINOISES, MARIE ET AMANDA,  DU CENTRE D’ADOPTION AMERICAIN (CCAI) NOUS Y ATTENDAIENT. NOUS VOYAGEONS MAINTENANT AVEC DIX AUTRE FAMILLES. CERTAINS ONT AMENE LEURS ENFANTS OU PARENTS.

TRAJET DE 35 MINUTES EN CAR JUSQU’A L’HOTEL. MARIE  AVAIT PREPARE UNE ENVELOPPE: CLEFS DE LA CHAMBRE, CARTE DE LA VILLE, CONSEILS POUR CECI OU CELA, HORAIRE PRECIS DU SEJOUR, UN COMPTE-RENDU DE LA VISITE MEDICALE QUE SOPHIE A EU LA SEMAINE PASSEE (TOUT EST OK!), ETC ETC…

 

QUELLE ORGANISATION !! EXCELLENTE !!

 

JE PENSE QUE L’HOTEL SE SITUE EN VILLE (…. IL FAIT TOUJOURS NOIR !!).

JE
SAIS QUE JE SUIS EN CHINE, UNE VILLE AU MILIEU DU PAYS ET C’EST TOUT. JE ME SENS TOUT PETIT.

 

L’HOTEL EST IMMENSE ET SUPERBE. UN

VRAI
PALACE, DU MARBRE PARTOUT, ETC,.. ON A EU BEAUCOUP DE CHANCE CAR IL Y RESTAIT TROIS BUSINESS SUITES DE DISPONIBLE. ON EN A EU DEUX: UNE POUR JOANNA ET MOI, L’AUTRE POUR  COLETTE ET ROCHELLE.

NOUS N’AVONS RIEN DU PAYER EN SUPPLEMENT.

LA TROISIEME FUT DONNEE A L’AUTRE FAMILLE (PARENTS+2 PETITES FILLES).

 

LES CHAMBRES SONT SUPERBES ET TRES GRANDES. NOUS SOMMES AU 29eme ETAGE. LA VUE DE LA VILLE A L’AIR SYMPA ET J’AI L’IMPRESSION QU’ILS ADORENT KLAXONNER. CELA N’ARRETE PAS. IL Y A BEAUCOUP DE BROUILLARD ET IL FAIT BON.

 

LORSQUE NOUS AVONS OUVERT
LA PORTE DE LA SUITE. SURPRISE….

 

….  UN LIT POUR BEBE Y ETAIT DEJA INSTALLE. WAW…. LE
CHOC, LA SURPRISE. LE RETOUR A LA REALITE. SOPHIE SERA BIENTOT DANS NOS BRAS. UNE NUIT DE SOMMEIL ET UNE NOUVELLE AVENTURE COMMENCERA.

 

LE LIT EST DECORE AVEC LE THEME DES “101 DALMATIENS”. C’EST MIGNON. DU COUP, ON A SORTI LES JOUETS ET PELUCHES POUR SOPHIE. ON EST PRET !!

 

A 9H00, NOUS AVONS UN MEETING POUR SIGNER D’AUTRES DOCUMENTS. ET A
MIDI,…. LE MOMENT TANT ATTENDU.

 

JE FILE PRENDRE MA DOUCHE ET AVALER UN ‘P’TIT DEJ’ GEANT…. J’AI BESOIN DE RESTER OCCUPE CAR POUR JOANNA ET MOI, NOUS SOMMES COMME DEUX LIONS EN CAGE.

 

A DANS QUELQUES HEURES.

JAMES

 

 

 

Update #2

Sophie Fu Duo is doing fantastic so far. Her measurements were right on. She’s a big girl, very loooong! She’s fitting into 12 month clothes, so we did well to take back the 9 month stuff and get bigger.

She has only been fussy twice so far. Once when we wiped her nose (yeah, she doesn’t like that) and once during breakfast this morning as she sat in the high chair. I took her out, held her and she was fine. She liked her bath, loves to be touched and talked to. Loves to be dressed, loves having her diaper changed. She’s a very happy and easy baby so far. She even slept through the night like an angel! We are actually well rested. Amazing.

Daddy and daughter.

Yesterday the babies had their very first car ride and it was a doozy. It’s six hours from Yunyang county (where she was found and where the SWI is) to Chongqing city. Because of that and the temperature change, most the babies have a little cold, Sophie Fu Duo included. The doc took a look at her last night and recommended that we start her on antibiotics before the bug takes a firmer hold.

 

Yunyang County is far to the west, near the border of Sichuan province. According to the nannies who came with the babies, Yunyang Social Welfare Institute is a new facility, open since 2001. The old one will be flooded by the Yangtze River when the Three Gorge Dam project is completed. Indeed, most of Yunyang will be flooded, including Sophie’s finding place. They’ve relocated around 1 million people in anticipation of this flooding. We can’t visit the SWI or Sophie’s finding place because, like I said, Yunyang is 6 hours away in the mountains with treacherous roads in between. I’m sad about this.

 

The nannies called Sophie “Doe Doe”. Doe is how Duo is pronounced. I had it wrong. They seemed very fond of her. My MIL got precious footage of the nannies playing with her while she was in my Ergo at the government offices yesterday. They did a wonderful job taking care of her!!! There are only 8 nannies for 60 babies at Yunyang (for the record, they’re all young babies. This group was the oldest in the SWI, and all the babies in this group are very young, under 1 year the lot of them. They have two special needs children and two toddlers. One toddler is soon to be adopted.) Sophie seems to be in robust health. She’s big and strong and her fingernails and toenails are carefully clipped. The level of care under such a ratio of nannies to babies astounds me.

 

The nannies talking to Duo Duo at the government offices yesterday.

 

Sophie sucks her thumb to self-soothe. Yesterday she was so stressed her thumb was an angry red. She has four teeth which she grinds, much to James’ dismay. He hates that sound. LOL. I’m trying her on pacifiers and teething rings, but she keeps spitting them out. It will take some time.

 

She doesn’t understand that if she cries she gets stuff. So we never know when she’s wet or when she’s hungry. If she’s in her crib and wakes up in the middle of the night, she’ll just lay there patiently. This is all a result of being in the SWI. I think it won’t take her long to figure out that we’ll meet her needs if she asks, but it will take time.

 

She is a bit delayed. She’s nine months old, but is more like a 6 month old, really. This will quickly correct itself. We’re starting to help her learn to sit up by herself. With constant attention focuses just on her, she should catch up pretty quick. Oh, and she loves attention! Loves to be touched and kissed. She smiles and laughs! She’s got the best smile. I’ll try to get a video of it. Adorable.

Sophie’s smile. (Here’s a little taste. I’ll try and get a better picture.)

 

Chongqing is the REAL China. Hong Kong was just Disney Land. Hong Kong was Chicago’s
Chinatown on steroids. Correct, this is the real *urban* China. And it’s huge.

Chongqing has 30 million people. Dude. There are people everywhere, all the time. All. The. Time. It’s like my worst nightmare. I have no idea where they’re all going, walking all over the place. And the honking, it never stops. There is constant freaking honking on the roads. Wow. What they could be honking about all the time, I don’t know. Maybe it’s just fun.

 

The hotel is fantastic. The room we have is huge. There’s a doorbell, man. A separate shower and a super deep soaking tub. Everyone is awed to see all the Americans carrying Chinese babies. When we go outside as a group, people stop and stare, and then form a big group and surround us. There are two little blonde American girls in our travel group and they’re like stars. Everyone wants to have their picture taken with them and the Chinese always make a V with their first two fingers in the photo. Like the sign for peace. *shrug* I dunno.  But everyone we meet is very nice and very curious. The Chinese women always touch the babies, pat their chins, talk to them. It’s cute.

 

In general people are fascinated by us, with or without the babies. They stop, stare and listen to us talk. It’s amusing. When the poor people try and beg from us, the other Chinese yell them to go away. Marie, our guide, says they don’t want to give a bad impression of Chongqing and China to the Americans.

 

Right now my mom is taking a nap right along with Sophie Fu Duo. James and my MIL are out doing reconnaissance, scouting out stores to buy supplies and restaurants to eat at. Later we’ll go out to buy some things we need for the baby. I’ll try and get some pictures of the area. It’s fascinating. Last night, after such a long day, we ate Pizza Hut. Horrible, huh? Come to China, eat Pizza Hut and drink Pepsi. We don’t want to get too adventurous with the food, though. It would suck to get sick right now.

“Poe poe” — that’s the word for maternal grandmother, holding Sophie.

 

Annoying/Stupid Things People Say When You’re Adopting

I’m actually not that offended by…well, most…of these. I just think they’re boneheaded things people say. Can’t wait to hear some of the comments we’ll get once she’s home. *snort*

• Why are you adopting? Can’t you have any of your own children?
• I’m sorry you’ll never be a real mother.
• Oh, you’re a saint for adopting. That’s so good of you. (or, variation) She’s so lucky!
• I bet you’ll get pregnant as soon as the adoption is final. That always happens. *gives consoling pat to hand*
• Wow, that must be really expensive.
• You’re going to love that child just like she’s your own.
• How, lovely! Asians are so smart, well-mannered, nice…or some combination of stereotype.
• International adoption is so fashionable these days. (Yep, I thought FD would go nicely with that new outfit I bought last week…)