Last night in Chongqing

I don’t have a whole lot to report today, but I have a ton of pics. We’re just kind of biding time until Guangzhou. I’m feeling a bit under the weather. I think it’s my sinuses reacting to the pollution here. Yuckity yuck yuck yuck. Many of our traveling companions are sick with viruses and the like.

 

We got Sophie Fu Duo’s finding ad yesterday. That’s the ad they posted in the newspaper after she was found. Seeing all those little faces staring out from the grainy newspaper ad made me cry. It’s something that’s never far from my mind; Sophie has had more than her fair share of tragedy so far in her little life.

 

The grandmas are both doing well. We’re all eating well and feeling good. We’re all getting enough sleep. I think they’re enjoying themselves. (And they’re both having fun shoe shopping!)

 

Today we walked around the part of this area in Chongqing that we hadn’t seen yet. Again with the walking freak show. At one point we had about 10 people following behind us in a little curious train. One other time a crowd gathered outside a small shop we were in. It’s hilarious. But they’re all very, very nice here. It’s a bit disconcerting at times, but we haven’t met one rude person yet. The young women all pull Sophie’s thumb out of her mouth and say “no, no”. They mean well, but I think Sophie Fu Duo should be allowed her thumb for the time being. It soothes her.

 

She continues to make remarkable progress every day. Today she’s grabbing toys like nobody’s business, she can sit up much better and when we put her on her feet she pushes into the floor, understanding that we want her to “stand”. And while she’s not too crazy about hard foods, (we’ll concentrate on that when we get home), she sucks down her whole bottle at pretty much every feeding time. She’s still congested but it’s getting better slowly.

 

Tonight we had our group pictures…

The entire travel group.

 

 

All the babies!! Can you pick out Sophie Fu Duo?

She’s in the pink dress, fourth from the right on the top. Chaotic does not start to describe what was involved in taking this photo

Before the pics. A better shot of the sooper dooper dress prettiness.

 

 

Here’s a great shot Colette got of a boy in split pants, sans diaper. When the child has to poo they hold him over a trash can. I don’t know how they can time that. Saves on diapers, I guess.

 

 

A typical scene.

 

 

Nai Nai and Sophie.

 

 

In front of the hotel.

 

We’ll update when we get to Guangzhou!

 

 

Poop, Pandas and Good Luck Babies

We have poop! I forgot to mention that yesterday. She’s been doing pretty good in that department since we started plying her with prunes (hates), apple juice (hates) and water (hates). She likes her bottle. We’re lucky on that score.

 

Sophie changes every day…. It’s amazing to watch the transformation. The first couple days she didn’t cry at all and, while she did laugh and smile, I realize now that she was employing some kind of baby survival tactic. She is still the joyous, laughing, cuddly child she was in the beginning but she’s also crying and fussing more. This is a good thing. Now she’s expressing the full range of emotions and that’s healthy. I think more of the real Sophie is starting to shine through. Either that or she’s grieving a bit. I’m not sure.

 

 

Sophie Fu Duo sleeping on me the first day.

 

She’s getting a lot clingier too. She doesn’t like to be put down. In the beginning she could lie on a blanket and amuse herself for hours without fussing. Now she wants our attention all the time. And we have to cuddle with her until she falls asleep for naps or at night, otherwise she fights it and fights it and then cries because she’s so tired. Sophie is like a sponge, soaking up all the one-on-one attention she never received in the first 9 months of her life. Luckily she takes lots of naps! She’s also a great sleeper at night.

 

Developmentally she’s made leaps and bounds just in the last few days. We’ve been exercising her, trying to help her learn to sit up on her own, reach out and take toys. At first she was like an infant, all floppy noodle like. As of today she’s trying to sit up on her own and holds her head up a lot better. She’s not too crazy about touching things other than herself, us, or her bottle. She likes to scratch things with her little fingers, but she pulls her hands away from toys for the most part. But this morning she reached out, grabbed her ball and rolled it. So she’s making steady progress. I think it will be pretty fast.

 

Pretty, good luck baby… One reason (according to our guides) people want to touch Sophie Fu Duo is that they think she’s “good luck”. She’s going to the
U.S. to live in a “rich” family (we’re not rich by American standards, but we are by Chinese standards). So people touch her for luck. It’s true most people touch her cheek or chin when they notice her (which is like all the time. Damn, we’re a walking freak show around here). They also all say “beautiful” or “pretty baby” when they see Sophie. We think she’s gorgeous, of course, but I think Sophie has some characteristics that the Chinese find especially attractive. I know her ears and her very fair complexion are two things. She has gorgeous eyes! She has big doe eyes, our little Sophie, and gorgeous long dark lashes.

 

Sophie is the biggest baby in our group. She actually does fit into 9 month clothes, but it won’t be long at all until she’s out of them. James and I feel very fortunate to have been matched with Sophie Fu Duo. I can’t imagine having any other daughter (I’m sure all the families are saying that). The CCAA matching department did well. Thank you CCAA matching department! You found our daughter for us, the perfect fit for James and I. She’s like a puzzle piece we didn’t know was missing and now that she’s here it’s like she was never absent from our lives. James…I’ve never seen James like this. He’s well and thoroughly in love with her, just like I am.

 

My back hurts! Dude, I’m using muscles never before exercised. Tomorrow we’re taking shifts with Sophie. First my mom and I are going down to soak in the sauna and have a massage. Then I’ll take care of Sophie Fu Duo and James and his mom will go do the same. The beds are hard here to boot. It’s like sleeping on a box spring. My arms keep falling asleep at night. Mostly we’re so tired we don’t notice it much, though.

 

Yesterday James and Colette went to the zoo. I stayed behind for fear it would be depressing, but apparently it’s a large, nice zoo. Very clean and with large enclosures. Not depressing. (Well, *all* zoos are kind of depressing, but apparently this one isn’t any worse than most. Never take me to the circus, man, I cry it’s so sad.)

 

Panda at the zoo (I don’t know why I title these. They’re pretty self-explanatory, aren’t they? Where else would the panda be?)

 

James at the zoo.

 

One of the famous “squatty potties”. I didn’t encounter this one, Colette (my MIL) did. Lucky her!

 

Last night we ate the best meal we’ve had so far at a hibachi restaurant (and it’s all been good…er, except for the chicken leg swimming in the viscous unidentifiable yellow fluid). Dinner here? Very cheap, like most things. Last night’s delicious, plentiful dinner cooked right in front of us (dinner and entertainment!) was only $7 per person. Today I bought baby shoes for three bucks a pair.

 

 

At the hibachi restaurant. Sophie was sacked out and sleeping in the Ergo. Riding in the Ergo usually puts her to sleep.

 

We have one more day to kill here in
Chongqing. There’s a tour, but we’re not taking it, opting to stay here, rest and have massages instead. Sophie is still a little ill with congestion in her chest. We have her on antibiotics and cough meds. Once we get home we’ll be taking her to the ped pretty much right away.

 

I am a little homesick for my family and for my furbabies and all the people here (people, people, people EVERYWHERE, all staring at us) are a little wearing on my nerves. Plus, it’s very polluted here and I can feel it a bit in my lungs when we’re outside. All that said, it will be sad to leave
Chongqing.
Chongqing will remain forever a very special place for us because it’s Sophie Fu Duo’s original home and it’s where she first came to us. I might shed a tear or two when the plane takes off on Monday.  Uhm…that is if I’m not busy dealing with a screaming baby.

 

 

 

And We Have Tears!

She’s finally crying and fussing. As much as I don’t like to see her cry, I’m relieved because it’s normal for a baby to cry, you know? Mostly she’s crying when she’s tired. This afternoon she cries when I lay her down. She’ll only stop when I pick her back up. (James went to the zoo with the group. I wasn’t too crazy about seeing a Chinese zoo, so I stayed behind with Sophie.) It’s good she’s crying to be held, good she’s learning that when she cries she gets stuff.

 

As I write this, she’s in the Ergo. She likes the carrier a lot and sleeps in it often. I have a feeling that at home I might be doing this a lot. At least it makes us both happy. She’s close to me and I have my hands free to write

Sophie in the Ergo.

 

Motherhood… wow. It feels so natural. It feels like she’s been a part of our family forever. It feels right to me and I’ve been amazed at how my mommy instinct just kind of took over.  With other people’s children I’m always a little apprehensive, but Sophie is my child and I feel that to the center of me. I have been apprehensive at all and I already feel a deep I-would-die-for-you sort of love. I’m amazed at the protective daddyness that has come out in James too. Fatherhood agrees with him. J 

I’m leaving room in my mind for the possibility of depression and/or doubts. I know they’re normal to have after a birth or an adoption. It’s okay if I or James feels that sometime soon. With such a huge change in our lives, it’s to be expected. Right we don’t have any of that, though.

Yesterday we went to Old Town. To get there we traveled thirty minutes through Chongqing. James got video of it. When we get back to the states I’ll edit it and post some of it. The size of the city is absolutely mind-boggling and it’s very, very poor. Lots and lots of torn down buildings and rubble. Lots of makeshift shelters on top of the rubble. The area where the hotel is the richest part of the city.

Old Town was a few streets of small shops here you can buy lots of folk art…which we did. We bought some gifts and some things for our house, like our family name in Chinese characters and calligraphy to frame. Stuff like that.

Later today we’re going to a nearby department store to buy Sophie some shoes. We can get very good quality baby shoes for about $12. Hopefully before then Sophie will take a nap!

Mostly we’re just waiting around until Monday, when we head to Guanzhou. Today we get some official paperwork back. On Monday morning it will be finalized and we’ll head out for the last part of this journey. I can’t wait to get home and back to the (new) normal. I can’t wait to get Sophie on a proper schedule too.

Nai Nai (paternal grandmother) and Sophie

And here’s Poe Poe again!

 

Anyone know how to get a baby to stop grinding her teeth! Yikes! She won’t take a pacifier or a teething ring yet (I keep trying!) She won’t put anything in her mouth but her bottle and her thumb.

Here’s the fire map on the back of the hotel room door:

Here’s what it says. It’s a little blurry, but make the effort to read it. It’s hilarious. God, I hope there’s no fire.

 

 

First Gifts

Once we get the referral, we can send FD a shoebox filled with gifts. We’re, uh, going to use a boot box. *g* If we could send a container ship, we would.

This is what we bought. A very soft blanket, a smaller security blankie with teddy bear head and a soft pink elephant that rattles. We will also include a small photo album with pictures of us, the cats and the dog, a disposable camera, (hopefully we get this back with pictures of her and her nannies, ect), and a bag of candy of the SWI staff (I’m going with Dove chocolate. That’s always good, right?).

I bought two of each thing. We will bring the duplicates with us to China.  We are also going to sleep with these items for awhile, in order to get our scents on them. Some people spray their perfume or cologne on the items, but what if she’s allergic? That’s no good. I think that as long as J and I continue to use the same products we do now, that will be sufficient. She will, hopefully, at least subconciously, be familiar with our scents when we’re in China.

Obviously, I have no problem with the color pink. *g*

 

Doctors, health and such

Found a pediatrician familiar with babies adopted from China. I’m starting to feel like an actual parent. I called and made arrangements for us to go in to see him once we get the referral. He’ll consult with us on the medicals of the child and prescribe medicines to take with us to China.

There is also a health program at a children’s hospital in Cincinnati that is designed especially for internationally adopted children. I know two local families who adopted from Russia who have used it. I reminded James about it last night and he said instantly, “We’re definitely taking her there right away when we get home.” So I guess we’re taking her there right away when we get home.

One interesting thing I recently learned…you’d think that being in the SWI with all those other babies would have produced a sooper dooper immune system, however we’ll need to keep her isolated for a while when we get home in order to give her a chance to build a resistence to germs here in the U.S. Interesting, that. Foreign germies. We plan to keep her isolated for a good long while anyway, for attachment reasons.

Speaking of attachment…there are numerous ways she could react to us on adoption day (I really hate the term “gotcha day”).

1.) She could come to us calmly, play and interact and instantly “seem” to be fine — this would indicate she’s never really attached to any one person and as a coping mechanism simply “attaches” to any old person in order to get her needs met. I really hope it’s not this one. Seems the hardest to deal with, ultimately.

2.) She could come to us calmly and be unresponsive and “wet noodle” like. — This would indicate that she’s pretty much in shock.

3.) She could pitch a fit and instantly reach back for her nannies — the most hopeful and healthy reaction in my mind. Means she emotes easily and has perhaps attached before.

4.) She could come easily to me and reject James.

5.) She could go easily to James and reject me.

6.) She could reject both of us. (Ouch!)

They say the first 48-72 hours are pretty much hell, but in 95% of the cases after that period the baby begins to adjust and accept. In any case, we expect it to be rough at first. We expect her to grieve. She’ll probably go through the whole cycle of significant loss once she figures out her little life has been disrupted in a major way for the THIRD time. I expect — Denial, anger, depression and then, finally, acceptance.

I plan to use a baby hip carrier as much as possible (if she’ll let me), especially in China, since strangers (it’s a cultural thing) tend to just pick babies up willy nilly. If she’s in a carrier, this will not be possible. Also, it’s good for attachment. Once we get home we intend to become hermits for a good long while. Easy for me since I’m kind of a hermit anyway.